Too Long

Today was the last day of a job that I've worked at for far too long. Once you loose the respect for your own job, the position itself, the structures and policies of the company, all that is left is a feeling of futility. Carrying on for the sake of carrying on, when internally recognizing its meaningless is not healthy, and it hasn't had a good effect on me. My mind is still spinning from my day and all that went on, and I realize that it will take a few days for me to wind down from the last 6 months.

Things that I had to say, after years as a successful University student, simply were not heard at the company. I worked in the social services field, naively thinking that I could make a positive difference for people and communities, but then came the reality of the way things operate. Abuse allegations were pushed aside, the needed changes not implemented - at least not changes great enough to prevent future issues. But sure, we have to start small, we cannot over-react, as I was often accused of doing. Frustrations. Miscommunication. Mistrust. These words describe my most recent work experience.

So cliche, but I felt like a caged bird in that place. And on my last day, I couldn't have flown out any faster.

It was expressed best when my supervisor said, "it's almost like you're thinking, this isn't the job I signed up for, this wasn't what I wanted."

"YES!" I blurted as a response, before she barely finished speaking her last word. "Exactly."

"Wow", she responded, "I wasn't expecting such a quick response."


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I know that job satisfaction is quite common, but I hope I never again settle and stay in a job that I dislike for as long as I did this time (6 months). What makes it worse is that so many of the employees are constantly patting themselves on their backs, thinking that they are helping people by virtue of working in the social services industry.